Determination

  It's been a long time since I've posted anything, but I've come to a point in my life where I feel it's worth the effort again, because I have more wisdom I'd like to share for anyone willing to hear it.

  There's a guy I know. I won't say his name and I won't say how I know him, but for all extents and purposes he's a total dick to me. for certain reasons I'm stuck with the guy. The type of behavior he exhibits is the kind that most people would get annoyed and angered at, and I've even had people tell me as such about him, but why is that?

  What, as humans drives us to be aggressive towards those who show us aggression or show us hatred or dislike? The obvious answer is that we're compelled to, emotions react on their own, feelings surge and rage, and you just explode, retaliating. But what does this accomplish?

  Sure, at any point in time I could have blown up in his face, but where would it get me? A moment's satisfaction, maybe, but what good would it do for him? for me? for humanity as a whole? I'll confess that for a while I had temptations to be passive aggressive. I felt like getting him back for how he was treating me, but then I asked myself, why?

  We're supposed to be the smartest species on the planet, and once upon a time we here in the United States were supposedly the most advanced. Why the hell don't we act like it? He acts like he does because that's what he knows, because that's what he learned from his environment. And that environment was formed by people doing the same. Just getting mad propagates that.

  That's why instead I'm going to show determination, and you, the reader, I ask you to do the same. When somebody says you're a failure, when they say you're no good, when they call you a piss-ant and say you'll never get anywhere, you look them right in the eye and say "watch me." Fists will win you nothing, you'll only prove their point in their mind. The best revenge is success, and you'll come out better than you were before.

  So put down the bat and pick up a book, you'll do better in the end.

  "No, I won't kill him, No matter what he's done I can't do that. When you build this new society, I want you to base it on that, on the man who wouldn't."
Dr. Who

Mourning Day

  On this day ten years ago, two towers, a government building, and an innocent corn field were attacked by rabid jet planes.

  Okay in all seriousness, people did die, and it was a shameful example of holes in national security, but what many might be missing here is it's been 10 years now, meaning it's officially okay to joke about it!

  So get out there and think up funny commentary, draw a sex based conclusion about two shafts and a structure shaped like an anus, point out that if they'd tried it in california they'd be dead before they finished the sentence "we're highjacking this plane"

  It's not disrespectful, it's memorable. think about it, when you hear a good joke, don't you tell it again and again, doesn't it randomly come to your memory months later? and isn't turning tragedy into comedy the ultimate proof you've overcome a pain?

  So go on, flex your funny bone! Should you lack a sense of humor, you know where the comments section is.

Steampunk assault rifles? yeah, we've got that.

  I had a sudden spur of inspiration a few days ago. My tablet's still broken, but that doesn't mean I can't kick ass with pixelart and texturemapping!

  I present to you the Sapien Technologies Autobolter!

  and as an added bonus, here's the lineart for anybody who wants to tweak it or use their own color pallet. Remember, everything I make has always and will always be creative commons, so go nuts with it ^..^

That was easy~

I'm not dead yet! oh, and death rays.

 I know I haven't updated this blog in months, but I've finally got a reason to breathe new life into it; Phoenix Protocol got a shot of life and now we're back on the right track.

  For those who don't know, Phoenix Protocol is a website I run dedicated to discussion and debate of cutting edge technologies, science fiction, and everything mad science. The site is also tied to a micronation project that many of us have been working towards for people interested in that field.

And on unrelated news....I'M MAKING A DEATH RAY, HOO-HA!

  I gutted a 1200 watt microwave not too long ago and the magnetron, inverter, and capacitor are all intact. I plan on spending no less than a month ensuring I've researched all I need to know to prevent cooking myself and I'm employing the help of my dad. My dad is a perfectionist and used to work with a construction crew where he operated radioactive equipment, so if anybody in my family would be competent with high voltage RF pulses, it'd be him.

  I plan on designing it on an underslung rifle frame with portable power supply and laser sights. Maybe some glowing fiddly bits for a real mad science look if I have parts left over. Given the appearance of the magnetron and the heat sink, as well as the shape the housing will have to be, I'm going to be basing the design on the laser rifle from the Fallout games, as pictured below.

  The notable difference, however, will be that mine will likely be underslung due to how heavy the battery and power supply will be.

The One Thing Everyone Needs

  Through my entire life, I've realized something. There is one thing, one event and one object that everyone needs. And I can virtually guarantee you it's not what you're thinking right now. This thing completely changed my life and the way I look at it, it changed my whole mindset and the way I approach my own existence in general. You're probably thinking I'm gonna say "god" right now, right? Wrong.

It's Turmoil.

  The one thing everyone needs in their life is a chapter of turmoil. One period in your life in which everything seems lost, one chapter where it feels like everything's gone down the crapper. There are two types of reactions I get when I say that. The first is utter shock and disbelief, those people have never felt real turmoil. The second is a nod, those people have. It's something you don't know until you've truly felt it.

  When you've felt real turmoil, suddenly your normal life doesn't feel half bad. You stop complaining your steak took a little longer than normal for the waiter to arrive with when you still have memories of eating out of trash cans. You stop whining about your hard day at work when you've had to collect soda cans for enough money to get a breakfast. And you stop looking at those ads on TV for the "perfect mattress" when you've had to sleep on cardboard before.

  Turmoil. Gives. Perspective. Everything in your life feels a lot better when you know what it's like to not have anything at all. We as americans have been spoiled. Don't act like you don' t know it. It's so seldom that people in the United States endure real suffering that they're not only numb to the pain around the world, but even to people who may be living right next door, or that bum on the street.

  That "lazy bum" probably works harder on the streets in a single day than you do in your air conditioned office all week. So my word is this, America, hit the bricks. To wealthy an affluent who took the time to read this, I hope you gleaned something from these words, if it sounds like horse crap to you, then that should be a sign, that should be proof you've never felt real pain, because you're getting worked up over text on a screen and nothing more.

  To my brothers and sisters out there who've felt real pain, to those who've endured being homeless, and to those who've lost everything but clawed their way back up into a position where they've got access to not only a computer, but the internet itself, my hat's off to you. You know what's what and what the real meaning of life is, so you sail strong, keep going, keep spreading your message. Remind the pompous and the bigoted, remind the elitists and the spoiled, remind them that everything they have is nothing, everything they have is just numbers in a bank account and luxury items they bought from the mall. Remind them that all those material possessions pale by comparison to the true human experience.

  "The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you. "
Tony Robbins


  "Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding."
Khalil Gibran

Furries and Homosexuality

  Well it's been a little while since I've posted, and given some stuff that's happened, I think it's most apt that I discuss the fur fandom and the countercultures therein, namely the 30 or 40% who are homosexual.

  As I type this I'm holding a flashlight in my mouth to see the keyboard and watching the laptop battery meter because the power's gone out again. If not for a tethernet internet connection I wouldn't be able to post at all; so I apologize in advance for any lack of tact or perception as I'm trying to crank this out before the battery runs out. Consider it a challenge I've presented to myself to keep life interesting.

  Keeping life interesting, that actually kind of blends into what I was going to be discussing as to why furries exist in the first place. Of all the various fandoms, furries seem to get the most heat. Admittedly this has died down in recent years and has been replaced by a seething hatred of pokemon, digimon, yu-gi-oh, and now ponies in that order with intervals of about 1 year between each.

  Now many would claim this heat would be a deterrent towards people who are just in it for the fun and not as a matter of self-identification, but I counter under the same context that a well known pony has been subtitled-captured-still-image as: "I'm gonna love and tolerate the shit out of you"

  Some people in the fandom seem to thrive off drama and hatred, they seem to be entertained by rage and stress. This isn't to say all are like that, and this isn't to say it's entirely their fault. There's an old saying "we're the product of all our experiences" so if you continually hate a person for trying to express themselves, of course they're gonna turn into an absolute dickwad, and speaking of dicks that brings me to my next topic; homosexuality.

  Maybe 1 in 10 of those reading what I just wrote probably had the thought "but what about lesbians, there's no dick there" and you'd be right. The problem is that lesbians seem to take a back seat to gay men on the internet in terms of hatred or disgust. It seems that by large, lesbians are seen as sex objects and gay men are seen as an unholy scourge, what misogynistic bastard made that a rule?

  There are just as many gay women as gay men I've met in my travels, and quite frankly the only difference I see between them and heterosexuals by large is that they've had to put up with a lot more shit. This has one of three effects.

1; It turns them into a soft and easily damaged person who's been worn down to a nub by a cruel and dark world.

2; It turns them into a cold and unflinching person who could watch the twin towers fall and just shrug it off, kind of like me and how I've been for a good portion of my life.

3; It turns them into a hard and callous uncaring monster, who doesn't give a shit about the world anymore and would rather punch you in the face than hear one more gay joke.

  Now the degree to which a person is turned into those has at least a dozen governing factors, and no two people are exactly the same. But there's one piece that plays a huge role, and that's in how they're treated.

  This brings me back to the initial topic and how they connect to one another. People in the fur fandom are by large people who've said fuck the world and have come out and become open about who and what they are and what they like. They like animals, so they will behave like them, dress like them, read stories and look at art made about them, it's just who those people are and what they like.

  In a community that exists on the basis of being open and honest about who and what you are, it only makes sense a larger portion of people who are homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, transsexual, transgendered, or any other obscure alignment I forgot to mention would come out about it. but this brings up another issue, if you find somebody who's both gay and a furry, you shouldn't hate them or yell at them or scream obscenities. You should be damned proud you live in a world of freedoms.

  The very same freedom that lets you shout those obscenitis, the same freedom that lets you tell the world what religion you are or what political party you follow without taking an arrow to the chest (or knee, should the situation apply) is the freedom that lets them be who they are and not have to be afraid. Beyond that, I've found that by large gays tend to be more compassionate and open with their feelings, and furries are some of the biggest animal lovers I've ever seen, and no not in the sexual way.

  And for that matter, if you're one of the big over testosteroned musclebound meatheads that see fit to berate and harass those of that community, cut them some slack, the gays can't genetically have kids and the furries are statistically less likely to find love and eventually have children with another human. If anything darwinism is on your side, so why add insult to injury by picking on somebody who's already got a hard lot in life? How about next time you trip I kick you in the ribs a couple times while you're on the ground, or if you turn your back I put a knife in it, wouldn't be fun, would it? So what makes you want to show the same behavior to them?

  If anything, you straight and homophobic or furaphobic, yes, I made a word, shut up. If you people of those inclinations out there see what they do as so wrong and so bad, how about instead of fueling their hatred, you instead show them the good side. if you want them to see beauty in humans, then show them what makes us better than animals, if you want to show them how straight guys act, then display some fucking chivalry.

  Don't do these things because you have to, but because it's the right thing. And in a final note just to act as a catch-all, if you want to say Jesus hates fags and "animal fuckers" then I ask you one question. When Jesus met a whore, did he stone her, or make her one of his best friends?

lack of posting

I know there's been a lack of posts to this blog in the past week, but that's largely due to lack of inspiration. I've been going through what's best summed up as a "blah" mood and I've been unable to think of insightful things to post about.

Fear not, I'm going to a furmeet in a week, and I'm sure I'll bring home plenty of stories with me to fuel new blog posts pertaining to the furry community, so until then...patience.